happiness

*grins* It's been raining and there have been puddles and God has graciously allowed my less than ideal efforts towards catching up on homework to have good results. At the moment, I'm technically caught up. The research paper need writing and some journals need writing, but tomorrow's work is completed. And I intend to listen to into the west tonight when that is over.

*twinge* between that and this, I imed my aunt Joanie, and we talked about schoolwork and movies and hootenanny. And journals came up... and once again I went through why I don't like them... that they were forced, and in thinking about it, I realized that it was a matter of me forcing myself. And I thought, what is wrong with that? How is that not a matter of discipline and self control? Why shouldn't I be able to make myself... *shakes head* that's where the problem is. I have been making myself, but rather than making myself available to God, I've made myself go through the motions. ouch. obviously this needs to change...