Ambivalence

Well, I stayed up till 2:30 knitting the last sleeve and listening to The End is Near. And the end was near, especially in the middle of Something like Laughter when I realized that I could no longer safely manuever the needles... this is a first for me. So there are only four rows left! And then I get to "sew" it together. Knit is really weird fabric. I try to create seams that will have a similar elasticity to the rest of the material; so I usually end up slipstitching the thing together with a crochet hook, no needle involved.
I also spent most of yesterday mentally scourging myself for my failings. (I was thorough. I yelled at myself over both possible and incompatible versions of my horribleness.) But what is the point? This isn't going to do any good. It isn't going to make me less likely to mess up later. If anything, it increases the risk of paranoia. I just wish everything made sense, that I could clearly see exactly what I did wrong, and have some assurance that I would never do so again. And some assurance that the new approach would work flawlessly wouldn't hurt either. Yeah, I know it's not going to happen.
Oh, and white rabbit is this thing that my family got from the Tuggy's. Essentially, on the first of the month one tries to say, "White rabbit," to as many of one's friends and relatives and completely innocent passerbys as one can without being presumed insane. The only thing is that once someone has said, "white rabbit," to you, you are not allowed to say it back to them or at least it doesn't count if you do. This combined with my sister and my competitiveness caused my parents to ban white rabitting before seven in the morning. This has led to some interesting conflicts over whose clock is correct...