Third post of the week... thoughts on three pillars from a different angle... and small flowers between Speer and the field

overheard: "I meant you to be yourself, and I meant you to choose to be mine. And you don't have to understand this glorious contradiction to live it."

I have to remember fondly the day I felt like God invited me to play in His "sandbox" or more appropriately to venture outside my own. Creativity/imagination was always something I'd kept to myself, and it was seperated from much that it should have included... I'm not doing a good job of explaining this. Growing up, I always felt like I travelled between different worlds... that my existence was divided into distinct spheres that I moved between regularly and every couple years this was reset completely. Family, imagination, and God - these stayed the same... or not exactly the same, but could definately be relied on always. I read Leatherwood's post about three pillars... and it raised some ideas and some very good questions that need to be turned over and have words put to them. I don't think anyone is meant to be perpetually in a state of doubt. I think giving up on getting out only works if there is another goal. Admittedly the goal of finding a goal is just a bit elusive. I don't know... I know I am happiest when I am dragged along by something inside or outside myself. I know I seldom get much done unless I am allowed to believe that what I am doing matters somehow... maybe only as a means to another end. And I still long for the day when I will learn to step out of the sand box of all I've imagined and dreamt so far, and then... I don't know what... I don't know how to explain it, but I want to make beautiful things, and more I want to be able to remind others and myself how beautiful God is. Imagination, good stories, life, flowers, sunshine, bird song, stars, rings around the moon, good friends, challenging assignments - I have been given so much. What am I to do with it?