I was supposed to...

post and accomplish miracles tonight. Um... well, the posting is happening this morning, and if making it through II Maccabees and getting the Analysis into rough draft form is a miracle... yeah, I didn't get as much done as I wanted to... but I did get a good bit done and I had fun. So I'm happy on that count... still dread this weekend... still in the Charlie Brown category of "A Book Report on Peter Rabbit"... still profoundly aware that my procrastination has and still could get me in trouble, and still not sure how to stop it... *sighs* at the same time I have been reading (to some extent) another blog, and I'm not sure how to respond... On the one hand there is so much that I recognize... the lack of ambition, the longing to be unique and special (although, not sure it's a good thing, but there is something that rises up at that and says, "But I am unique and special."), the trying to work out what I should do, the feeling that the something is coming to an end and maybe it is myself... I know it. Perhaps not to the same degree or in the same way, but I know it... And chapel today was good because God hugged me when I needed it, and I got to worship as I haven't in a while. He is beautiful. And there's a lot I don't have figured out, but God doesn't lie. And somehow loving anyone is tied to loving Him which is only love if I love them too... and at this point what I should do is so much beyond what I can do, but who knows... somehow it's possible enough... Anyway, Leatherwood, you have my admiration. You have my friendship. And to the voice that says you will never be anything that matters, you have always been someone who matters and matters on a scale that makes your love of truth and freedom and what is best and beautiful look very small.